Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dear Diareheaheayeehaw,

Today I was shocked to read that I have a long lost brother. Mommy tried to explain to me that just because Roman calls Mommy, Mama doesn't mean that she is actually his mommy.

Mommy says that Roman has a Mommy already and that she is also famous and has problems with Paparats.

"It's like in school, when I used to call my teachers, "Mom" on accident. Sometimes I called my brother, "lover" on accident as well. Happens all the time," Mommy explained over a bottle of Enfamil Lipil.

I don't know who to believe. It's all very confusing to me. I already have a brother but Roman is closer to my age so maybe we can play hop on pop and jump on Daddy's rock hard abs and go weeeeeeeeeee like a private jet. Mommy and Daddy say that "first class is the only way to go." FYI, I totally agree.

P.S. FYI2: Paris is not my BF anymore. Now I have decided that I want someone a little closer to my age. I like Milo. This is his picture. We go swing together in the park. Jungle feva.

M = Magnificent
I = Ideal BF
L = Love his blonde locks
O = Oh baby, baby. How was I supposed to know that you were something something. I don't know the rest of the words to this song. Ok, bye.


ZMJ the great

Friday, September 02, 2005

Dear Dieretardedbush,

i am very angry. there are babies my age dying every day because aid is not getting to New Orleans in time. The priorities of our goverment are appalling. Even I am shocked. I am only an infant but Bush and his administration are mommy is also pissed. It makes me cry.


Thursday, September 01, 2005

Dear Diagram,

Daddy forgot the Baby Bjorn and I am sad for this. Here are some pictures of my Daddy and me that Paparats took. I am mad again. Not Mad, but mad. (This is all ver confusing for me right now.)

It's hard because I feel so conflicted sometimes. I want pictures of Daddy and me but also I want to live a quiet, private life. My publicist tells me that I should be happy to be alive because I would probably be dead if I didn't have my mother's love, my brother Mad, and my Dad named Brad.


Mad rhymes with Brad.
Brad is my Dad.
Paparats make me sad
and a little bit glad (shhhhh, don't tell)
I would be sad
If my mommy was mad
My bandana is rad
it will soon be a fad


When you say, "scene" it means something is over or finished. My Mommy says it. That is how I know for sure. She is a lesbian. That means that she acts which is her job. Dad is a lesbian too. My parents are very cool because they are both lesbians. When I grow up I want to be a unicorn.

Bye for now.