Friday, October 21, 2005

Dear Die-her-ee,

Ok. So I know I haven't been around lately. It's been really crazy. People did a story about Mad and then everyone else did and then Mad was suspended from his blog because he didn't do his homework and I have been traveling the world and living in Canada and BradDad has been riding his motorcycle a lot and Mad wants me to tell you that he's sorry and that its all very unfair but sometimes its unfair to be a boy. Mad is one the most powerful men under 39. He is also one of the most powerful brothers I have. The pressure was just too much.

I will ttyl, k?

P.S. I don't have a crush on Paris anymore, but thank you. I am dating Roman now and we are very happy together. We shared a bottle the other night and it was really romantic and he has a baby bjorn like mine and we go to the store now with Worthington to buy St. Johns knits for babies.



Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dear Diareheaheayeehaw,

Today I was shocked to read that I have a long lost brother. Mommy tried to explain to me that just because Roman calls Mommy, Mama doesn't mean that she is actually his mommy.

Mommy says that Roman has a Mommy already and that she is also famous and has problems with Paparats.

"It's like in school, when I used to call my teachers, "Mom" on accident. Sometimes I called my brother, "lover" on accident as well. Happens all the time," Mommy explained over a bottle of Enfamil Lipil.

I don't know who to believe. It's all very confusing to me. I already have a brother but Roman is closer to my age so maybe we can play hop on pop and jump on Daddy's rock hard abs and go weeeeeeeeeee like a private jet. Mommy and Daddy say that "first class is the only way to go." FYI, I totally agree.

P.S. FYI2: Paris is not my BF anymore. Now I have decided that I want someone a little closer to my age. I like Milo. This is his picture. We go swing together in the park. Jungle feva.

M = Magnificent
I = Ideal BF
L = Love his blonde locks
O = Oh baby, baby. How was I supposed to know that you were something something. I don't know the rest of the words to this song. Ok, bye.


ZMJ the great

Friday, September 02, 2005

Dear Dieretardedbush,

i am very angry. there are babies my age dying every day because aid is not getting to New Orleans in time. The priorities of our goverment are appalling. Even I am shocked. I am only an infant but Bush and his administration are mommy is also pissed. It makes me cry.


Thursday, September 01, 2005

Dear Diagram,

Daddy forgot the Baby Bjorn and I am sad for this. Here are some pictures of my Daddy and me that Paparats took. I am mad again. Not Mad, but mad. (This is all ver confusing for me right now.)

It's hard because I feel so conflicted sometimes. I want pictures of Daddy and me but also I want to live a quiet, private life. My publicist tells me that I should be happy to be alive because I would probably be dead if I didn't have my mother's love, my brother Mad, and my Dad named Brad.


Mad rhymes with Brad.
Brad is my Dad.
Paparats make me sad
and a little bit glad (shhhhh, don't tell)
I would be sad
If my mommy was mad
My bandana is rad
it will soon be a fad


When you say, "scene" it means something is over or finished. My Mommy says it. That is how I know for sure. She is a lesbian. That means that she acts which is her job. Dad is a lesbian too. My parents are very cool because they are both lesbians. When I grow up I want to be a unicorn.

Bye for now.



Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Dear diorama,

I just started a new band and it isn't called Zahara and the Wailers like Mad said. First let me tell you who is in my band. Worthington is and my goldfish, Paris Latsis is and Daddy is and Mad says he is but he doesn't want to rehearse so I am going to have to replace him.

I think my friend, Lucy will take his place. Lucy is the similac fairy. Our band is called ZAHARA DESSERT because dessert is so sweet like chocolate. I ask Mommy for chocolate Similac and she make it for me. Cool.

I have to go burp now. Bye.



Monday, August 29, 2005

Dear Dryereya,

I am cute and I am on the cover of PEOPLE and my mother's love saved me. I am lucky because my Mommy is the prettiest Mommy in the entire world.

This person is not my Mommy. Duh.


Zahara Jolie

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Dear Diahereahara,

Today I was en People Magazine. So was Mad. I saw that they tell about his Blog but I was on the cover so THERE. How many 7 month old babies are on the cover of PEOPLE? I am very importante. (Worthington is teaching me espanol because he is Chilean.) I linked to Mad because I am a good hermana and the hermana always gets mas famous anyway. That is what I was discusssing with Worthington Juarez.

For instance:

1. Julia & Erik Roberts
2. Jessica and Bart Simpson
3. Patricia and David Arquette
4. Stephen and Alec Baldwin
5. Jennifer and George Lopez (espanol)
6. Paris and Nikki Hilton
7. Mandy and Michael Moore.
8. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
7. Janet and Jermaine Jackson
9. Penelope and Tom Cruise
10. Katie and John Holmes

So I will probably be really a lot mas famous than Mad even though he is older and has a mowhawk. My hair will be braided with real gold so there because girls rule. Every day I get more smart and more beautiful and more interesante and PEOPLE want to know about me and write me letters on my email. Thank you. I read them and then I spit up. I love Enfamil but sometimes I hurl. Similac smells. Mommy's movie is wicked. (Uncle Matt Damon taught me that wicked = cool) Matt is handsome but not as handsome as Paris Latsis. He is my boyfriend, don't you know?

I go to bed now. I love you, diariorea.



Dear Dhkalsjda

I feel conflicted. Should I link to Mad? I want everyone to be friends because we all want the same things in life, to be close to Mommy and Daddy who are most beautiful people in the world beside Paris Latsis (My BF)

Here is why I love Paris so much.

1. Handsome
2. He is from another country = exotic, good taste. No Similac.
3. He has tribal tattoos.
4. He is a college student = smart
5. He has teeth.
6. I love him okay.

Worthington just put on the Baby Bjorn which is my cue so I will hop in it and ride down to the kitchen for my Ba.



Dear Diarama,

This is me, okay. I smile.

Bye for now,


Dear Diereyaha,

Here is a pic of Paris.